Norman Mingo was most famous for his cartoon illustrations of Alfred E. Neuman for Mad magazine. You know, the guy with the missing tooth that regularly featured on the cover of Mad Magazine. And one of Mingo’s most famous Mad magazine covers was the one he made of General Patton. You may ask what this has to do with swimming and the Serpentine?
Patton finished seventh in the swimming leg of the Olympic Games pentathlon in Stockholm in 1912. And one of our own Serpentine swimmers, also a member of the American forces, recently made an unfortunate plug at being a stunt double for Alfred E. Neuman. We used the excellent Patton cover to easily demonstrate the mile long smile. But rather than my words [John T], let’s hear it for the acci-dental hero Jean Luc Currie.
I've been in the middle of a move from the U.S. to Okinawa, Japan, writes Jean Luc Currie. I've finally settled in - somewhat - and can therefore explain the gap in my communication. So, let me fill you in.
Nearly 11 months ago to the day (January 4, 2016, to be exact), was the fateful day. I had just returned from a wonderful holiday to London to see all of you Serpies, and was therefore in a devil-may-care attitude. I was returning to a series of exercises at the Basic Infantry Course for Marine Corps Officers in Quantico, Virginia, and we immediately kicked off with the five mile endurance course. The Endurance Course is run wearing full kit, roughly 30-40 lbs., and carrying an M16 service rifle. Obstacles are sprinkled throughout the five mile course. I suppose it's similar to a Tough Mudder or other obstacle race, but with a rifle...and everyone isn't cheering you on ... and there are punishments if you fail.
Brace yourself for the next few paragraphs as it might be something you’ll want to floss over.
I was making excellent time, having just passed the two mile mark, when I approached the first major obstacle: a six foot wall. I looked to my left and there stood one of the sergeants as a safety observer. Trying to hide my shortness of breath, I fresh-breath smiled, waved, and offered him a hello. Then I approached the wall, hooking my elbows over the top and swinging my legs around and up to the right. As I propelled myself over the other side, my rifle - which was slung across my body and hung in the front - rebounded from the shock of the landing. I happened to still be smiling, and so the metal scope on the top punched me right in the face (a real orthal-scopic incident). I stood, dazed for a moment, before turning to the sergeant and grinning.
"Is anything missing?" I asked.
"No," he replied, "Looks great!"
So I ran on. I didn't make it far before blood began dripping from my mouth and a piece of my tooth fell out. I stopped and assessed the damage. My left front tooth was chipped in half, and the right one only dangled pre-cariesly. Not finishing hardly seemed an option, so to crown my situation, on I ran. It wasn't as if the finishers received a plaque in this race. Before I finished the course, I knew that I would be toothless for some period of time. An hour later, it came as no surprise when the dentist yanked my right tooth and told me, "They'll fix this at your next duty station." Five months later, I arrived at my 'next duty station,' and after a 21 gum salute, they told me "They'll fix this at your next duty station." Now I have been indentured at this next duty station, and this tooth issue is harder to fix than finding hen’s teeth.
Tooth be told, my tooth loss has been bitter-sweet. I have more trouble eating apples and sandwiches than ever before. But they are still quite filling for my nutritional needs. I also need less toothpaste than usual.
It took me three months to learn how to whistle with one front tooth. I still sometimes can't properly pronounce consonant fricatives (e.g. "F" and "V"). And, occasionally, food or drink involuntarily come spurting out of my mouth without the tooth there to hold it back. On the positive side, I've been called 'more approachable,' a euphemism I'm sure, but I haven't figured out what it is a euphemism for, yet. Clearly there is a gap in my lexicon. I’ve learned to take myself less seriously. Using my fake tooth, I have convinced my nephews and nieces that I am magic as I show off my pearly gems of wisdom. Maybe it’s a wisdom tooth story?
So, that's the story of the tooth. I wish it could say that it has helped me swim better, but I still have a ways to go to plug that gap.
I’m awaiting a date for the treatment, and this is very confidential, but a molar two have informed me that at least I have the time fixed for my appointment. Tooth Hurty.
Yours accidentally
JL
ps Here is a bit of Serpentine news...
This August and September were unseasonably warm here in the United States. However, the higher than normal temperatures made for perfect sea swimming in the northeast of the country. A few of the Serpies created a small reunion in New England's Massachusetts for a sea swim: the water was a balmy 68 degrees F (20 C). Off the Coast of Cape Cod, Sarah Legrand, Jean-Luc Currie, and Don Paradis swam at Buzzard's Bay. They even kept the Breakfast Club going in typical Lido Cafe style. Sarah Legrand. flew over for just 24 hours! A few days later they met again for a swim in Henry David Thoreau's famed Walden Pond near Concord, Massachusetts. There are few kettle ponds (as they're called in New England) as calm, serene, beautiful as Walden.
