# Club Championship Nicked by top swimmer

Teacher proves to be the Master You do the Math

Did it add up for you? To win the Club Championship, a swimmer had to take part in as many of the following races: 40+50+100+200+400+800 +n =. What's the answer?

Clearly the sum is any series of races to power of n leads to nICK. QED as mathematics formulae often finish with. Yes, Quite Easily Done for all you Latino scholars out there, who have moved on from Quod, Erat, Demonstrandum.

It's the now the time of year when people take their holidays and congratulations to Championship winner Nick Adams, whose Algaerhythms in the water proved better than the rest. He's also handy at differenSeaation.

It's pure nature for all swimmers at the Serpentine, so I hope you all engaged in some Treegonometry.

Moving on, let's start with Displacement theory in our End of termometer test.

Take your math, get set, go.
Q 1. If Robert Fisher splashbombed his start, how far did the water travel?

MCQ: A: France, B: Finland, C: False

Q2. If at the same time, Rob Ouldcott and Stu Bowman jumped off the top of a stupidly placed stack of barrels in the water, who would hit the water first?
A: Rob, because Stu would be sitting on his shoulders B: Rob, because he's faster C: Jacqui Fishing Block

Q3. Torque of winning, who finished in the other places minus Nick? 2. Henry Fischel Block 2. Rob Ouldcott 3. James Norton

Q4*. Protraction If James Norton places one hand into the water at 45 degrees and the other at 85 degrees, why can he always swim so fast?
*PhD students only

Q5. If a swimmer unconditionally bakes cakes for swimmers, how many swimmers does it take to say thank you? A: None B: Very Few C: Burp

Back to the race news. At one stage, it looked as if it was within James’ compass to get past Rob Ouldcott. They had a real right tangle, but Rob’s wrecked angle of James’s line settled that score. There's an almost Pythagorean balance to Henry Fish Boc (5,4,3), but written in words, it just has a non equilateral look to it.

Elsewhere, some swimmers focussed on the snail space in the water, and talked about it a lot.

But winning the protracted series of championship races means Nick is definitely a ruler. And while all this was happening, we all thought of Sam Mould, now a solo swimmer, whose feat no one can now eraser.

And for the older readers, the trophy presentation happened at what was once a log table, and also a centre for pie or squared slices of baked goodies.
At home Nick will have to Stack the trophy, high pot in use, when necessary.

Finally, reports had to be written. Happy holidays all.

1. Nick, a neat swimmer and seems satisfied with winning

2. Henry, a banker for consistency

2. Rob, must pay attention in class

3. James, always reading Esther Williams novels

Other merits

Place Star* Rose Lewis, during the series, she regularly swam the distance, and then did a lot of extra work, by swimming far far more than expected. Just wouldn’t stop. This pupil has a big swim in her, it just needs to be expressed.

Sick note: Laure Latham went on holiday to France and was excused class.

Bonus Question: If Jo Dale crewed Sam to France, how long will it take Jo to decide.... Drat, there goes the bell.

FINALLY BIG BIG BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALAN LACEY 95 YEARS YOUNG

And very finally, for the ultimate British test, this has to be the one for you. Click here.

Yours swimmingly

John Tierney

Pix: Mike Harris